Ever More
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Hotch puts his past to rest and begins again.


**Ever More**

Aaron Hotchner paced the back of the small Presbyterian Church, barely registering the people milling all around him. Gazing outside the stained glass window at the small cemetery adjacent to the church grounds, he realized there was going to be only one way to quell the rampant thoughts filtering through his distracted mind. And on today, of all days, he wanted to focus on what was important to him. He owed her that. He owed all of them that, he reminded himself as he smiled at his now ten year old son, Jack's attention focused on the gold rings attached to the satin pillow in his hands.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Hotch said suddenly to the tuxedo clad man standing beside him.

"What?" David Rossi asked absently, turning away from the minister with whom he'd been chatting.

"I said that I'll be back. There's something I have to take care of," Hotch returned evenly, already heading toward the church's double glass doors, his footsteps sure.

"_Now?_" Dave yelped, following after his best friend with rapids steps. "You do realize that we're T-minus ten minutes from beginning this shindig, right?"

Pushing open the door and stepping out into the sunshine, Hotch nodded. "That's plenty of time," he assured over his shoulder, already jogging down the stone steps of the aged church.

Bracing one hand against the wrought iron banister, Dave frowned. "I feel it's my duty as best man to remind you that the groom is an integral part of the ceremony...can't really do this without you, Aaron," Dave called to Hotch's retreating back, watching as the tall man lifted an arm and waved in reply as he strode toward the graveyard.

Sighing heavily as he watched Aaron's departure, he felt more than heard the presence behind him.

"Where's dad going?" Jack frowned, his dark eyes slightly alarmed, the pillow clutched tightly against his chest.

Facing Hotch's son, Dave forced himself to smile reassuringly. "He just needs a few minutes, kiddo. He'll be back," he replied, hoping like hell that he was right.

"Should I go after him?" Jack asked worriedly as he realized what direction his father was headed.

Glancing over his shoulder, Dave shook his head. "Not yet. Let's give him a couple of minutes on his own. Then you can go."

**XXX**

How long had it been since he'd visited her?

Sitting on the concrete bench in front of her tombstone, he knew it had been at least six months. Probably Jack's last birthday, during their annual pilgrimage. Staring silently at the slab of granite and marble, his eyes focused on her name.

"I'm sorry it's been so long between visits," he began softly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "You know I always had a hard time with graveyards, though," he told her.

Lapsing into silence for a few moments, he swallowed tightly. "I had to come here before...before I begin this new chapter in my life, Hales," he confided softly. "I guess I needed to imagine you telling me that I've got what it takes to make this work...even if I couldn't make it work for us."

Inhaling a deep breath through his nose, Hotch blinked several times as he tried to clear his eyes. Tears on his wedding day would be frowned on...at least these kind of tears. "I guess I needed to let you go completely before I moved on." Clearing his throat, he continued, "You were my first love, Haley. You taught me _how_ to love. And I need to thank you for that."

Closing his eyes as tears threatened to fall, he whispered, "But the debt I'll never repay is giving me our son. Jack's been my lifeline. My salvation. When things were darkest, he's what kept me moving forward. And because of that...I found her...that woman you once told me would make me complete. And you were right," he chuckled as he felt his chest start to loosen, "she was right underneath my nose...but you already knew that."

"Dad?"

Aaron stiffened as he heard a voice from behind him.

"Are you okay?"

Clearing his throat nervously as he wiped his damp cheeks quickly, Hotch glanced over his shoulder. "Hey, buddy. Just having a quick conversation with your mom."

Moving to his father's side, Jack looked closely at his father. "She'd be really happy, Dad. For both of us."

"You think so?" Hotch asked his son softly.

"I know so." Jack nodded earnestly. "I can't see her, Daddy, but I know she's here with us today. She'd want this for both of us. She'd want us both to be happy."

"I'm really glad you feel that way," Hotch murmured, wrapping his arm around Jack's slim shoulders and half-hugging the boy to him as they looked at Haley Hotchner's headstone. Gazing down at his son, he realized that it had taken everything he'd had to move on, but he'd had what it had taken all along. He'd had his little boy. And he'd had the woman he loved.

"Hey, you two," a soft feminine voice said from behind the two Hotchner boys, "What's going on out here?"

Jerking toward the familiar voice, Jack jumped, trying to cover his tall father's eyes. "You can't be here! It's bad luck!"

"Well," she laughed, her long white billowing skirt caught up in her fingers, "I had to see where two of my favorite men in the world had run off to, didn't I? Besides, we've had all the bad luck already happen...I think it's going to be smooth sailing from here on out," she smiled, winking at her future stepson.

"Not if you keep breaking the rules," Jack snorted, keeping his hands over his dad's eyes. "C'mon, dad," he said, guiding his father around the grinning woman. "Walk behind us," he ordered his future mom with twinkling eyes. "Ten steps behind so he doesn't see you."

"Will do, Jack," she murmured, dropping a kiss on the boy's head as he passed her.

And as her two Hotchner men walked toward the church, she turned back toward Haley Hotchner's grave. Smiling sadly, she reached out to touch the stone marker. Pulling the single red rose from her bouquet, she laid it atop the monument and leaned down softly to whisper, "It's okay, Haley. I'll take care of them for you."

And that's just exactly what she did...for the rest of her life.

_**Finis**_


End file.
